As the Relationship Expert going through a divorce, I was about to become my own muse. Or at least my own guinea pig (although muse sounds so much cooler). So with no attachment and nothing to lose, I began my “research”. I decided I would own who I am, and people could take it leave it, but my days of losing myself in an effort to accomodate others were over. This was my chance to take ego out of it. “You’re not a good fit for everyone”, I would remind myself. “You’re not supposed to be. Not everyone likes chocolate. That doesn’t make chocolate bad”. Wait, huh?! Did she say, not everybody likes chocolate?
This was one of the most valuable lessons I had ever learned. And while it all began with dating, it’s applicable in EVERY area of life. No longer willing to pretend to know sports, love to cook, or enjoy working-out, I was ready to authentically represent myself in all my flawed and fabulous glory. This new ability was accessed somewhat by accident at first. I was newly single after 16 years of marriage and just too distracted and busy to learn the game.
Now, that doesn’t mean I didn’t have concerns. Oh, I had concerns. What if I’ve lost my retail value and been downgraded to resell? What if people just aren’t looking for what I’m pitching? What are people looking for anyway? And what am I pitching? The questions swirled in my head like a cyclone. I was a losing confidence altitude faster than I could recover. “Wait! I can do this. I can give up trying to win everyone over in favor of owning who I am and accepting that it’s not going to blow everyone’s hair back”.
So with a minor shift in priority, I was able to present myself to the world as unabashedly real! And it turns out…that’s kinda hot. Or at least refreshing and worse case, it’s living authentically and that’s worth everything! Think it’s worth trying on? I invite you to shed the need to look good in favor of bearing who you really are. I suspect what you’ll find is that people fall in love with your vulnerability. And sometimes, it even gives them permission to be real! Authenticity is contagious…go spread it around some.