Tis the season to focus on your goals for 2012. So now that we’re nearly 2 weeks in, I can’t help but wonder how those resolutions are working out for you? Personally, I’ve had a long history of the stereotypical resolution that got away. It usually went something like this: January 1 – I am motivated, excited & enthusiastic. January 15 – I’m busy, distracted and more focused on staying afloat than sailing a ship. Febuary 1 – What resolution? (My clever tactic to avoid feeling bad about not following through…again). And so, committed to putting the kibosh on that buzz kill, I set out to explore what it would really take to keep my resolution enthusiasm high. My resolusiasm, if you will. Here are the 3 most impactful things I’ve discovered to turn resolutions into real life change. Happy 2012!
1) Be Clear, Specific & Realistic
Are you just heading south, or are you arriving in Austin, TX on Thursday? You must be clear and specific about what you want in order to achieve it. Are you declaring a “better relationship”, or do you really want weekly date nights and more adventurous sex? I’m just saying that the clearer you are (with yourself and your partner) the more likely you are to arrive at your intended destination. Also, be sure that you’re goal is realistic. Perhaps weekly date nights and wild sex is too big a stretch if you have newborn triplets. Remember, it always feels better to set achievable goals and build on those, then to consistently miss the mark.
2) Shift Your Focus From Outcomes to Actions
Sometimes we are so fixated on the goal that we forget to focus our attention on the actions. Without action, our goals simply serve as a reminder of what we don’t have. Even worse, we can begin to feel stuck when we are more subconsciously aware of the gap between where we are and where we want to be, than the steps it takes to get there. If your goal is to lose weight, forget the scale. Enroll in a workout class, hire a trainer, find and use healthy recipes. Determine and execute the necessary actions and gauge your success from there!
3) Dare to Suck.
I think the Dalai Lama said it best when he advised us: “Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.” Sure, stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk is scary. But if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. It’s time to play a bigger game, and yes, that does mean the possibility of failure. But here’s the good news. I’ve learned that falling on my face, (preferably figuratively to literally, although I’ve done both), can actually be exhilarating. Once I touch that thing I’ve been so afraid of, (which usually has to do with failing or looking bad), it significantly loses it’s power. I’ve also found that people fall in love with vulnerability. They are drawn to our authenticity and can appreciate, and relate to, our foibles and mishaps.