June 13, 2010
Tags: advice tips, elaina mcmillan, games, intimacy with wife, love, marriage, meaning of intimacy intimacy issues, relationship advice, relationship tips, romance
No, this is not a “how-to” for sexy cooking enthusiasts. It is however, something important to consider. I first heard the phrase, “sex starts in the kitchen” from my co-host on The Sex & Intimacy Show and world class Sex Therapist, Dr. Neil Cannon. The point he was making is that sex starts long before you get to the bedroom and the sooner we acknowledge this truth, the sooner we are likely to see positive results. Sex is a process with a beginning, a middle and an end. Foreplay, as we know it, is somewhere in the middle. The beginning is more about attention…”How was your day”…”Can I get you anything”…”Go relax, I’ll do the dishes”…now THAT is sexy! Ok, maybe not on paper. But sometimes for your partner, it’s the difference between opening up and being receptive or not. Don’t just take my word for it, try it yourself!
May 24, 2010
Tags: advice tips, elaina mcmillan, games, intimacy with wife, love, marriage, meaning of intimacy intimacy issues, relationship advice, relationship tips, romance
No, I’m not talking about that! Although, that can be powerful too. I’m talking about loving the essence of who you are. You at your best…or not. Sure, we can (and will) always evolve and strive to be better. And that’s important, too. But how about loving the whole package, right now? Not when you’re more patient. Not when you lose 20 pounds. Not “someday”. But right now! It’s not about loving the good and ignoring the rest, but rather loving all the parts that make up who you are. If we are all here to learn anyway, maybe it’s okay that we don’t always have all the answers. Maybe fumbling through is part of the adventure. So why are we so quick to hide our flaws and cover up our issues? It’s not like anyone here is perfect. Just another soul muddling through, trying to figure it all out.
I can’t stop wondering how many of my own mistakes, failures and life lessons were overshadowed by my commitment to keep them on the down low. And how powerful it could be if I were to funnel my energy into allowing those “opportunities” to contribute to me, rather than embarrass me. Maybe the most honest way to improve our relationships is to begin with our self. Isn’t it time to own who you are, the great, the not so great, and all the stuff in between? When we can learn to accept our own imperfections, then maybe we can be more accepting of others, including our partners.
“Be forgiving of your own evolution.” ~Gandhi